Busted!

This just in: The Noble Savage fights crime!

Yesterday I was walking past the post office/convenient store and had to come to a halt when two teenaged boys in hooded zip up jackets came charging out the door and almost ran into me and the stroller. They kept looking behind them so I kept an eye on them as I followed them further down the street. When we were about 50 feet away from the exit they reached inside their pockets and pulled out large chocolate bars and some sports drinks. It was pretty obvious they had stolen them, so I did a u-turn and went back to the post office to tell them about it. The cashier at the desk thanked me for letting them know (and I did tell them that I hadn’t actually seen them take the stuff so I wasn’t positive but it seemed pretty suspicious).

I went to the bank to deposit some coins (yes, we are THAT broke. it’s January, after all!) and then stopped to read a text message just outside a grocery store. I glanced up as I waited for my reply text to be sent and saw none other than the same two kids getting ready to steal more stuff. They were being so obvious it was almost laughable. One was waiting in the queue to buy something really small and cheap while the other picked up various items, pretending to read the labels, eyes darting from side to side as he checked his surroundings.

I thought about going back to the post office to tell them where these sticky-fingered little thieves were but knew they’d be long gone by the time anyone got back. I then considered telling an employee of the grocery store they were in to watch them but I was wary of making a scene if in fact they hadn’t stolen anything. I hate to presume things when I haven’t seen them with my own eyes but I took a few 5 finger discounts when I was that age too ( for really stupid, minor stuff like troll dolls and lipgloss — wtf was I thinking?) and wanted to give them the chance to do the right thing.

So I went into the store and stood right behind the kid about to stuff a pack of muffins down his jacket and leaned in near his shoulder like I was reaching for something by his head. He jumped a litle and looked at me quickly, his face registering recognition and fear when he realised that I was the same lady who’d been behind them a few minutes earlier giving them funny looks as they got away with their loot.

I smiled broadly at him and leaned in, in a very ‘I’m going to tell you a secret’ way, and whispered “Don’t do it, mate (hey, gotta use the British slang to identify with these darn kids these days). It’s not worth it. Do you really want to get busted by a lady with a baby?” I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and jerked my head towards TNC. She looked up at him expectantly.

“Uhhh…..uhhhh,” he stammered.

“That’s what I thought. Now get your friend out of here and stop stealing shit.” I took the muffins out of his hand and placed them back on the shelf. The kid scurried out of there faster than a lab rat who’s been dosed up with an eight ball of cocaine.

Now where’s my cape and my tiara? This city needs me.