I spend too much time on the computer. It’s beginning to affect my productivity, creativity and stability. The more depressed I am, the more I just sit and stare at a screen. The more I sit on my ass and stare, the more depressed I get. So you see my dilemma. Vicious cycle, catch-22, all that jazz, to use just a few expressions.
I’ve already gotten used to not having a tv (going on 2 months now without one), so why not the internet? I would be forced to either read, do something useful in the flat, like clean or organise, get outside, come up with new ideas for playing with my daughter, visit friends, look for work or write something more meaningful than my usual daily diatribe.
This is a test, this is only a test.
April 29, 2007 at 2:51 pm
I got to this stage a while back. The internet was my life and my emotions concerning people and posts there were completely out of proportion. What I do is have Nick take the “modem connector wire thingy” to work with him so I have absolutely zero option of getting on other than in the evenings and weekends. Real life has become more real and I don’t get crazily involved in online things anymore.
For a long time I hated that I didn’t have the willpower myself but then I just thought, well I don’t and instead of crazily trying to force myself I might as well just take temptation away… it’s not like one gives up smoking by having a packet of cigarettes constantly in one hand.
And for the other post, I notice you said the flat was also like a cell. I too have been through that. I actually composed a story in my head (which I wrote later)one day as I sat in the bedroom staring at the wall thinking about how my husband and child had sucked my life and future from me. Happily, I am far from that dark place now.
April 30, 2007 at 1:30 am
NONONONONONONONONO!!!! Sigh. I understand – NYS